TV

i'm so sick of people saying television is bad for you. i think it's a beautiful form of media, it's easily abused but if we can make decisions to listen to whatever kind of music we want... the same goes for what television shows we watch. 

i don't watch survivor or american idol.  i don't watch Rock of Love or whatever the other dating show with flava flav is called.  obviously, that isn't a rich form of entertainment.  but i can't shut off television completely.  with the ability to have a weekly series, we're open to real character development and we're open to watching characters grow.  it's also important to see the bigger fucking picture!

get passed the obvious and look deeper into the themes of television shows.  how can i apply them to my real life and how to i relate?  why do we watch what we watch?  you end up learning quite a bit about yourself in the process.  it's just like books.  the little prince is NOT about a little dude who hops from planet to planet.  just like Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz are not what them seem.  they are huge allegories for the BIGGER FUCKING PICTURE in life.

don't be such a noob. 

mosquitoes.

i try not to make a big deal out of them. 

but this one has been buzzing by my ear, by my neck and in front of my book nearly all night. i sorta feel taunted.

like he's living my life, mocking the fact that i haven't looked up from my book all night.

bzzz bzzz bzzz. like he gets a fucking kick out of the fact that every thirty minutes i try to get up and find him so that i can kill him. i just want to kill him right now. my feet, hands, face, thighs and ankles will be my evidence. he pushed me to do it.

it's either him or me but i can't catch him. he's a slippery baby of a mosquito. only when he passes my window or book can i see him, it's so strange. i try following him with my huge human eyes but his little body slips just about anywhere. he's winning and laughing, my blood fueling him. he'll probably slip out of a window or door tomorrow and tell all his friends about how he spent his night/early morning. or with my luck, the mosquito will be ashamed of me. he won't acknowledge me, he'll leave me and never want to drink from me again. he'll buzz right out of my life like so many mosquitoes before him. 

the book i'm reading:

It's such a fantastic book! it's about seven different lives, they all live in the same suburb and it's sorta how their lives intersect and the perceptions they have of each other. the perceptions they try to control and the book tells how little the characters really know about each other. even the married couples. it sorta reveals this shocking truth about things that can seem so ordinary and how the term "ordinary" doesn't really have a definition in society. themes that aren't exactly original but their meaning and presentation are SO original. we end up feeling like the 33 year old retired cop is the creep and the psychosexual "pervert" is the victim. new perspective, new new new.

ALRIGHT. so everyone knows my insane obsession with producer/show creator Alan Ball. Firstly, i was head over hells for his series Six Feet Under. 

an intense drama about death with so my sincerity it was soul crushing. I can talk for hours and hours about the enormous effect this show had on me. but recently, he just wrapped up a second season of his ridiculously critically acclaimed show, TRUE BLOOD.

Aside from the fact that I have always been consumed with death, i just love the themes of True Blood. Immortality, mortality, what life means when you can't die, social injustices, religion, savage-like sex, the definition of love, possession, humanity, what being a human means... all the BIG themes that animate my life.

There is a character named Jason Stackhouse, who is the older brother of the main character Sookie Stackhouse. Jason has been through a lot; his parents killed in a flash flood when he was eleven, his grandmother and girlfriend being savagely murdered by a good friend and co-worker of his. He sorta had this emptiness inside of him and all he knew to do was to be hot and fuck anything that walked. 

In the second season of the show, Jason feels the need to belong and was recruited by a anti-vampire church called The Fellowship of the Sun. the idea of the church is that they are radical and believe vampires to be... well, evil. Jason doesn't question much, he just feels like he belongs to a family and feels closer to god. He makes the worst decisions and suffers greatly for them. But something that i can't shake is how his character just wants to be good. he just wants to be closer to his maker and do something for the greater good of mankind. he wants to be a hero but doesn't know how to save a thing, not even himself. he wants to be there for his sister and he wants to love and be loved in return.

I have the most in common with this character.

that's Jason Stackhouse having a conversation with Reverend Steve Newlin founder of Leadership of the Sun [notice jason's muscle shirt stands for Light of Day Institute]. sooo fucked up, yet so powerful. self-righteousness for the "glory" of god proves to be much scarier than sharp-toothed men.

sometimes you have to have a thoughtless fashion moment.

Nail Polish: OPI for Sephora in Dark Room

Eyebrows: Urban Decay in Honey Pot

i have the biggest urge to blog about my current obsessions:

 i'm starting to except that i like deep colors, not just black on top of black on top of black.  don't get me wrong, i still love layering black.  and totally dripping in gold with it.  but as fall and winter are approaching, i can't help but sorta itch for a little bit of color.

but i've never really been comfortable with super bright colors so my way of letting jades and purples into my wardrobe will really just mean they will be deep jades and purples, deep maroons and of course grey grey grey!  what would i do without being able to dress in all different shades of greyyyy?  aye.  i need to go shopping. 

i feel like it's finally about faux fur with me.  aside from the barbaric cruelty of real fur, it doesn't feel very nice to wear.  but i can't deny the automatic chicness that comes with a gorgeous  faux fur scarf, shrug or even hat.   it just completely heightens whatever the fuck you have on!  i don't need any help defining my enormous shoulders though, so i'll have to be really careful if i decide to wear my shrug.  

completely NOT into flats this fall, blah.  flats with skinny jeans, PLEASE get a new aesthetic.  but if not flats what the fuck?  so over flat boots too.  flat flat flat, not for me anymore.  i threw on a pair of wedges yesterday with some MC Hammer pants, ugh, made me feel so different.  so i guess i'm gonna be doing the wedge heel for good this fall/winter.  

sooo irritated with red/blonde looking hair right now.  i recently dyed my hair dark brown and feel a lot more comfortable.  i realized how much work my skin/eyebrows need.  so for now, i won't wear any eyeliner or blush.  i just want a clear face and defined brows.

so, i can't get over jade nailpolish!  it's a play off the regular old black or that deeply rich red [that nearly looks like black with black undertones].