i am tired of being overwhelmed

i don't know why i can't just properly handle things.
I've been TRIPPING out all morning, that's such a lie cause i just woke up. but i know what i mean :x haha


i don't want to overreact about bars anymore. when i first stopped taking bars... i could be around people who barred out and they served as inspiration for me not to. but i'm stupid and not strong in the slightest and that shit doesn't fly anymore. i am SOMEWHAT envious of barred out people, really angry mostly. angry, partially at myself because i wanna have little to no reaction to bars.


YOU KNOW, i find myself saying i want little to no reaction to alot of things. camel, bars, the queen of my world, my mom...
the truth of the matter is i react very highly. i am a highly reactive person, i shouldn't be so anxious to change that shit. i give a fuck, i am volatile and excited. i have to stand for something, because i've been falling for everything.


idk what this is about.