strangers never strange

it's the observation that is key, but the observation that eats me. the notes and notations won't do anything for me.  the pages go on and on and they've existed, before me.  on one hand it feels so good, my other hand is rotten like wood.  flaking away into dust.  it's probably the dust that gets caught in my eye and where again i flush it out.  a sort of dignity i never had a hold of, that observation i've never been without.  

i don't know myself.  but what the fuck does that mean anyway?  to know my TRUTH? haha, wtf?  I sorta laugh at aimless attempts self-awareness then realized I am shamelessly, ridiculously doing exactly that.  I don't know WHY i am trying to be so aware and in control all the time.  time, my obsessions, death... those piece of shit parts of my life i'll never be able to do anything about, shouldn't wash me clean and fill my lungs. 

they should be drowned or something.  drowned by creation or something.  You know?  I feel like it could work the same way as clogged pores do- i just have them in my insides.  i'll make a headband, then it will become the headband.

My old english teacher always used to say I used the worst "to be" verbs in my writing.  apparently, that's all I could think of writing with "will be", "we were".  i never bothered to come up with something better, even when she would ask me to be creative.  i would always choose creative subject matter [often terrible narritives] and write in boring "to be" verbs.

are am is was were be became become..... all "to be" verbs.  

birrrfday partee

what a sweet ass flyer.
happy birthday petey! and me next wednesday.



Birthday list:
bars
beer
bars melted into beer

my kitty's name is Harlow, otherwise known as Kitty Purry

Kitty Purry, a catholic shawl and a tattoo that I've had for almost two years that two percent of my friends have seen :D
A ridiculously expensive dye job.

alright, so this isn't going to be an interesting post.

I woke up this morning and decided i was too under the weather to go to work.  this usually makes for a badass day, except I was really sick.  so it was just annoying.  

I came home to find Tessie beating up Kitty Purry, by scooping her up with her snout and slamming her against the wall.  I will always be true to Tess but, she's totally abusive. 

I am moving in with Dezzzz!  Probably the most exciting news I've ever had and she's having a drummer circle party at her house this Friday, I want to sing and play the piano and little drum machine I have.  My intentions are to get high, bar out and get FREE.

I've got some serious shit to talk about, so I imagine I'll be making another post by the end of today.  :D

calm americans

I brought a kitty home yesterday. My black haired beauty queen was flustered at first, then she realized it was just a baby. The white kitty flips over and over stretching out her little paws, the black dog swats her on the floor- she's too big to play.




I had a dream last night that I was surrounded by tons and tons of folklorico dancer and I could only feel and see bright colors going SWUSH all around me. I kept trying to look at the dancers in the face but at the last minute they'd move around. I could smell pan dulce and I realized we were dancing in front of my dead grandmother in a wheelchair. She was clapping and singing along but the whole dream was silent. I could feel the confetti landing on my cheeks.
I followed this one dancer because I wanted to see her face, I grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around. When I turned her around, they all turned around. They were all wearing oxygen masks and their faces were rotting.